My world began to shrink… or, so that’s how it felt.
You hear say that ‘you find out who your friends are’… but wouldn’t you rather know that?
I always thought that I did. I was proud of the fact that just a few years prior I actively maintained hundreds of friendships.
Those of you who have always held a ‘small handful’ already identified the challenge that I was about to realize.
“Maintain”… what a word… for a friend… would anyone elect to have that be the word that someone used to describe the behavior in which they related?
No… and from my side, it was never without heart that I took stride to keep acquaintance alive & up-to-date… I cared, it just wasn’t until this ‘shrinking’ began that I realized that some of my collective did not.
The unconscious motivations behind my maintenance differed; some of the relationships felt obligatory, some were kept up and pushed along for another, some were grandfathered in… and some had, as anything does over time, just become habit.
See if you can envision an actual globe – like a fishbowl – a large one, and you keep filling it up with more & more –
what you put inside will have to be small to fit, and will be kept small due to a lack of nurturing, as you simply cannot know hundreds of people intimately – eventually a day will come when you reach in & can’t find what you’re looking for, it has sunk to the bottom, or an equally devastating fate, you find that for which you were searching & you no longer recognize it.
BUT, if you keep your few cherished treasures in a smaller globe, you will always know what you have & most importantly, you can nurture each individually, because you will always be able to find them & know what they need to be kept afloat.
Today, the shrinking has stopped… and there is a swelling taking place. The difference is, that the globe in which I keep my remaining treasured relationships is a smaller vessel.
Somewhere along the way I started to pay attention to who was keeping me in their small globes. It began to matter to me who gave me a priority placement in their world; and I focused on them – instead of handing out my priority placements to those I thought I really wanted there, but who didn’t necessarily value the relationship.
It took over 30 years before I first heard the words “You’re always my first choice.” … and while I would want for no one to live a lifetime before hearing that, I also would not trade the experiences that have led me to the few who I now keep safely in my little globe.
SO, if you can, rather than meeting the day when the shrinking begins, keep your world small from the start by noticing who deserves to be in it. Fill your globe with those who love you & actively want to be there… even if there are fewer, it will feel so much fuller.
Quality over Quantity… in All Realms, Always.